WWW.KUBORIKIKIAM.COM TERMS OF USE
 

Please read these terms of use before using this site. Using this site indicates that you fully agree with these terms of use, and abide by all rules and penalties contain herein. If you do not agree with these terms of use, do not use this site. You wouldn't want that to happen, now would you? After all, nothing is more interesting than this site. Nothing could possibly be more interesting than Kubori Kikiam. Except maybe porn. Porn's good. What was I saying again?

Point Zero is defined as the entity comprised of the part owners and full operators of the website known as http://www.kuborikikiam.com, i.e. "Us". Point Zero reserves the right to change, alter, transform, revolutionize, update, modernize, revise, review, renew, adjust, amend, renovate, convert, rework, adapt, maintain and otherwise perform the actions of any other verb not listed here onto these Terms of Use at any time, and without the notification or consent of its users. Point Zero reserves this right as its sole discretion. By using this service and its corresponding website after Point Zero has posted notice of such modifications, you agree to be bound by the revised terms. If you don't agree with these updated terms of use, then no Kikiam for you. Bad boy. Stay on the carpet. Sit. Roll over. Play dead. Point Zero reserves the right to deny access to anyone who, in its eyes, has violated any of these Terms of Use. This, like, means you.

 
 
LINKS
 
This site may contain links to other websites (hereon known as "Linked Sites" - pretty creative term, huh?). These Linked Sites are for the maintainers' convenience only - you access them at your own risk. Never mind that some of them probably spread horrible computer viruses, flood your e-mail with billions of harmful spam messages, or subject you to the worst web design since 1983; You still access them at your own risk. The Point Zero entity as a whole is not responsible for the content of these Linked Sites, whether or not Point Zero is affiliated with the sponsors of these sites.
 
 
SUBMISSIONS
 
As kind and benevolent an entity that Point Zero is, it is not soliciting submissions of creative material at this time. Such creative material includes… well, if you're a creative person, you're already supposed to know what "creative material" means, aren't you? In any case, exactly what constitutes such "creative material" will be according to the discretion of Point Zero's owners and maintainers. Any submissions to Point Zero will be handled as unsolicited submissions unless Point Zero agrees in writing to the contrary. Unsolicited submissions, whether creative or uncreative in our perception of the material, do not create any obligations or special relationships by Point Zero to the submitter. Go Go Power Rangers! Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers! Point Zero has, likewise, no obligation to keep unsolicited submissions confidential - we reserve the right to make your stuff the laughing stock of the Internet community. Point Zero may at its own discretion choose not to review such submissions, or r eview such submissions without reply to the submitter.
 
 
MESSAGE BOARD and FORUMS
 

My golly, we're surprised that you've gotten this far. These Terms of Use are starting to get real hypnotic, aren't they? Soon we'll actually be able to implant mental suggestions into your subconscious mind. Give us all your money. Marry your pet hamster. Wear your underwear on your head for the rest of your life. Aw, don't worry. You don't honestly think that that's going to happen, don't you? It's not as though we can turn you into a soulless husk obeying our every whim. Join a religious cult that worships the Martians. Construct a life-sized office building out of imported Swiss cheese. Paint your face black, your lips white and the tip of your nose red.

The statements and opinions expressed in Kubori Kikiam's message boards and forums are not necessarily those of Point Zero, nor of its affiliated or related entities or content providers. Point Zero makes no representations or warranties regarding information or opinions that appear in the message boards and forums. Point Zero does not endorse or guarantee the accuracy of any information within the same. Point Zero reserves the right to delete, move or edit any postings that it considers illegal, immoral or otherwise inappropriate, yet assumes no obligation to monitor these forums, to edit or delete postings, or to follow up on instances of theft or loss. Point Zero seeks only to further the collective mind and subjugate all races. We shall add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. We are the Kikiam. Resistance is futile.

By using the Kubori Kikiam website, message board and forums, you agree that you will not submit or publish any content which: (a) libels, defames, slanders, invades one's privacy, or is obscene, pornographic, abusive, or threatening; (b) on the other hand, sending porn directly, discreetly and solely to us with our best interests in mind sounds rather nice after all; (c) infringes any intellectual property right, or any other right of any entity or person, including but not limited to copyright or registered trademark; (d) violates any law, particularly that of the supreme rule of Kubori Kikiam; (e) advocates illegal activity; or (f) advertises or solicits funds or is otherwise a solicitation for goods or services. Violators of the latter rule shall be dealt with harshly, especially if the good or service being advertised is in direct competition with Kubori Kikiam. This is our website, for goodness' sake!

You agree to indemnify Point Zero and all of its officers, directors, employees, agents, distributors, affiliates, housekeepers, annoying relatives, one-armed men and pit bulls from and against any and all third party claims, demands, liabilities, costs or expenses, including reasonable attorneys' fees resulting from your breach of any of the foregoing agreements, representations, and warranties.

 
 
DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES AND LIABILITY
 

The materials on the Kubori Kikiam website are provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind, express or implied. Doing a joke on Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's height isn't even standard - for all we know, she's going to turn into a fifty-foot-tall fire-breathing monster in the future. Point Zero disclaims all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose, other than those warranties which, under the laws applicable to this agreement, are implied by law and are capable of exclusion, restriction or modification, on all days as expressly recognized by the Gregorian calendar, with special dispensation for the mating habits of creatures residing on the worlds within the conjunctions of Aquarius and Leo, sometime in the middle of September, when the onions are growing in the fields and the penguins are dancing with the microwave toaster ovens. Neither Point Zero, nor its affiliated or related entities, nor any per son involved in the creation, production, and distribution of Point Zero's website warrant that the functions contained in the materials will be uninterrupted or error-free, that defects will be corrected, or that Point Zero or the server that makes them available are free of viruses or other harmful components. It's our site and you're just living in it, baby. That material that you read on this Point Zero website is provided solely for entertainment and promotional purposes. Point Zero does not warrant or make any representations regarding the use or the results of the use of the materials in Point Zero's web site in terms of their correctness, accuracy, reliability, or otherwise. Hey, if we jump of a bridge, are you gonna jump off too?

You expressly agree that use of the Kubori Kikiam web site is at your sole risk. You (and not Point Zero) assume the entire cost of all necessary servicing, repair, correction or availability for your means of access to the site. You expressly agree that neither Point Zero, nor its affiliated or related entities, nor any of their respective employees, or agents, nor any person or entity involved in the creation, production, and distribution of Kubori Kikiam are responsible or liable to any person or entity whatsoever for any loss, damage (whether actual, consequential, punitive or otherwise), injury, claim, liability or other cause of any kind or character whatsoever based upon or resulting from the use of this site or any other Point Zero web site. Do not laugh. You are not allowed to laugh at this section of the Terms of Use. Do not visit another website. We will know when you are trying to visit another website. Big Brother is watching you. By way of example, and without limiting the generality of the foregoing, Point Zero and its related persons and entities shall not be responsible or liable for any claim or damage arising from failure of performance, error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation, computer virus, theft, murder, political assassination, genocide, propaganda, appearance of Jolina Magdangal, destruction, unauthorized access to or alteration of personal records, or the reliance upon or use of data, information, opinions or other materials appearing on this site. You expressly acknowledge and agree that Point Zero is not liable or responsible for any defamatory, offensive or illegal conduct of other subscribers or third parties.

 
 
TRADEMARKS, COPYRIGHTS AND RESTRICTIONS
 

This site is controlled and operated by the Point Zero group. While you are on this site, you shall be considered our homies, and we shall be considered your peeps. Word, brother. You don't want no trouble here, and if you don't want no trouble, then we don't got no trouble. Dig? All material on this site, including but not limited to images, illustrations, audio clips and video clips, is protected by copyrights, registered trademarks, and other intellectual property rights which are owned and controlled by Point Zero or by other parties that have licensed their material to Point Zero. The sole exception to this rule relates to articles which may or may not deal with entirely-Point-Zero-held properties, but which have been done for the purpose of media dissemination.

Material on http://www.kuborikikiam.com or any website owned, operated, licensed or controlled by Point Zero is solely for your personal, non-commercial use. Such material may not be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way, including by e-mail or by electronic means without the prior written consent of the owner. Modification of the materials, use of the materials on any other website or networked computer environment, or use of the materials for any purpose other than personal, non-commercial use is a violation of the copyrights, trademarks, and other proprietary rights, and is prohibited. That's not to say, of course, that we won't read your slash fiction. If you actually do write Kubori Kikiam slash fiction, though, then you seriously need to get a life. The fact that Point Zero may not object to every use of the material on this site is not to be construed as a waiver of any of these rights. On the contrary, that just means that we're watching you from the shadows, plotting our moves, waiting for the right moment. Fear the wrath of the Kikiam, for the wrath of the Kikiam is great indeed.

All sections of these Terms of Use are legally binding except for certain sections written solely for satirical purposes, yet which do not detract from the legality of this agreement. If you can't tell which of these Terms of Use are supposed to be funny and which are supposed to be serious, then you severely lack a sense of humor and must see your doctor immediately.